Three Countries, Two Wet Shirts, and One Amazing Photo

A “casual” trip to Zimbabwe, they said. It’ll be relaxing, they said. Fast forward 48 hours, and I am standing on a bridge over the Zambezi River, sweating, ready to jump!

Spoiler alert: There is no such thing as a “casual” trip to Southern Africa. But if you embrace the chaos, the red dust permanently embedding itself into your socks, and the fact that wildlife always has the right of way, it is an absolute blast.

Here is how my little border-hopping adventure across Zimbabwe, Zambia, and Botswana went down.

Zimbabwe and Zambia: The Smoke That Thunders (And Ruins Your Hair)

I set up my basecamp in Zimbabwe, primarily because I wanted to see Victoria Falls from the “good” side. The locals call it Mosi-oa-Tunya—The Smoke That Thunders. I call it The Mist That Instantly Destroys Any Electronics Not Wrapped in Three Plastic Bags.
But before I checked the falls by walking,

But before I checked out the falls on foot, I took a helicopter ride to get a view from above. And if you ever have the chance to do this, do it! The view from the top is amazing.

The next day brought the real walk: walking along the falls is less of a nature hike and more of a localized hurricane simulation. You start off thinking, “Oh, this gentle mist is quite refreshing!” Ten minutes later, you look like a drowned rat who just crawled out of a washing machine. The sheer power of the water is mind-bending. You try to take a majestic selfie to make everyone at home jealous, but the photos just show you squinting through a monsoon with a terrified smile.

I started from the Zambia side and headed over to the Zambezi site next. Both offer a similar view as you remain on the opposite side of the falls. It is not like Iguazu where you are once right on top of the falls and another time taking in the full panorama. The only chance to be “on top of the falls” is to swim in one of the infinity pools right at the edge. I decided not to risk my life.

The Zambia side:

The Zambezi side:

If you only have time for one, take the walk on the Zambia side. It’s not only cheaper, but it also feels closer to the falls as you get considerably wetter.

One thing I had never seen before: I spotted a 360-degree rainbow on the Zambia side! Impressive.

They say you can even see moonbows (lunar rainbows)… unfortunately, only during a full moon.

Botswana: Safari by car and boat.

Next on the itinerary: Botswana. Specifically, Chobe National Park.

Getting into Botswana involved the Kazungula border, where four countries (Zim, Zam, Bots, and Namibia) basically crash into each other in a geographic free-for-all.

Since it was so close to my hotel (a 60-minute ride), skipping it was out of the question. The morning was spent in a jeep, and the afternoon on a boat. The boat safari in particular was amazing, as I got to see plenty of crocodiles and elephants standing in the water.

The only thing I didn’t like was the behavior of the park rangers. They mentioned at the start that they are supposed to stick to the roads and leave animals alone if they are far off in the field. But upon spotting a pride of lions, several drivers (including mine) chased them off the road into the field and surrounded them. The group I was traveling with felt this was wrong, so we asked our driver to stop. I could see the animals were getting agitated with the cars so close.

One last horror in Zimbabwe

The last excursion I took on the Zim side was to Hwange National Park. Tour companies advertise it as a 90-minute drive. However, the road conditions were SO BAD that a) I needed a chiropractor afterward, and b) it took 3.5 hours. To top it off, we lost an extra hour on the way when a tire blew out… My recommendation: either skip the park if it’s the “animal low season” or stay at a lodge inside the park for a few days.

The national park itself is massive and, depending on the season, teeming with wildlife. During my visit it was decent, though I would have expected a bit more.